Third Party Family Building

We specialize in family building and will help facilitate a collaborative reproduction arrangement between you and a third party. Together, we will learn about your family’s specific needs, and prepare you for the psychological sequelae associated with third party reproduction. I take the time to know each family’s path, and support their unique journey. 

We have established relationships with all of the major fertility clinics in the San Francisco Bay Area. We also collaborate with an incredible network of colleagues who are members of the ASRM Mental Health Practitioner Group when working with third parties across state lines.

Intended Parent Consultation

If you are planning to work with an egg, sperm or embryo donor, or a gestational surrogate, your reproductive endocrinologist likely will refer you for a psycho-educational consultation to receive information pertinent to the emotional, psychological and familial issues related to alternative family building. In my consultations I discuss the emotions you may have in transitioning to alternative family building and losing the genetic tie to your child, feelings you may experience about genetic relatedness to your child, how to choose donor and surrogacy agencies, the screening process for donors and surrogates, donor identity considerations, how to select a donor and factors to consider in disclosing donor and surrogate origins to your child. I will provide you with resources for future reference.

Egg and Sperm Donor Screening

I have extensive experience evaluating agency and known donors. I am expert in the guidelines for egg donor evaluations established by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine and adhere to their recommendations.

When screening egg donors for both agency and known donations, I meet with the egg donor candidate for a structured clinical interview and administer the Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI), a psychometric test that measures personality functioning. I determine a woman’s appropriateness to donate by assessing her emotional stability and maturity, psychosocial functioning and ability to provide informed consent.

Intended parent(s) are referred separately for a psycho-educational consultation for recipients of donor egg to receive pertinent information about building donor conceived families. When facilitating known donations, I screen the egg donor candidate for appropriateness, provide the intended parent(s) with a psycho-educational consultation and meet together with the intended parent(s) and egg donor candidate. If the egg donor candidate is married or is in a committed relationship, her partner is included in the group meeting.

In known donations it is important that all participants agree about relevant issues such as the nature of the relationship of the donor to the child and family, disclosure of donor origins to the child and to others and the disposition of frozen embryos. The joint meeting allows all parties to share their thoughts and feelings and ensures that they have similar desires and beliefs.

I provide written reports, as necessary, to medical teams or donor agencies.

Gestational Carrier Screening

I have extensive experience in screening gestational surrogates and am an expert in understanding the issues and concerns of both intended parents and surrogates. I work closely with medical professionals, attorneys and surrogacy agencies to ensure the well being of all parties in a surrogacy arrangement.

When screening surrogates, I meet with the surrogate candidate for a structured clinical interview and administer the Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI), a psychometric test that measures personality functioning. I determine a woman’s appropriateness to be a surrogate by assessing her emotional stability and maturity, psychosocial functioning, lifestyle, experience with pregnancy and motherhood, ability to provide informed consent and the support of her spouse or partner, if applicable. Typically, if you are working with a surrogacy agency, the agency will meet with you to provide information about building a family with the assistance of a surrogate and will conduct a group meeting with you and the surrogate to make certain that you are a good match.

You may contact me because a family member or friend has offered to carry a pregnancy for you. In this situation, I will screen the potential surrogate for appropriateness, meet with you to provide information about family building with the assistance of a surrogate, and conduct a group meeting to ensure that all participants in this family building venture are in agreement about relevant issues such as genetic testing, multiple pregnancies, pregnancy termination and contact during the pregnancy.

I provide written reports, as necessary, to medical teams or surrogacy agencies.

Embryo Donation Donor and Recipient Consultation

I have extensive experience working with both embryo donors and recipients, and understand the unique emotional complexities involved in embryo donation arrangements. I work closely with agencies, fertility clinics and medical professionals to ensure the wellbeing of all parties involved in embryo donation.

During donor consultations, I facilitate in-depth discussions about the psychological, social, and familial implications of embryo donation. We explore the future relationship between donor families and recipient families, particularly when genetic siblings exist. Together, we discuss their comfort level with different types of recipients, preferences for future contact, and plans for disclosure to their existing children about potential genetic siblings. We thoughtfully consider the disposition of any remaining embryos after the recipient's family building is complete, including feelings about potential re-donation.

For intended parents, I provide a comprehensive psycho-educational consultation focused on the unique aspects of building a family through embryo donation. We explore the transition to embryo donation, process feelings about genetic connection, and discuss approaches to disclosure with children. I help intended parents think through their hopes and expectations for relationships with donor families, particularly when genetic siblings are involved.

When facilitating known embryo donations, I meet separately with donors and recipients before bringing everyone together for a joint session. This allows each party to process their individual feelings and concerns before discussing shared expectations about disclosure plans and future contact between families. Throughout these consultations, I explain the limitations of the screening process, including those inherent in self-reported information.

I provide resources for ongoing support, information about self-care and stress management, and ensure all participants understand they can access mental health support throughout their journey. After each consultation, I provide detailed written reports to medical teams and clinics documenting our discussions and assessments.